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If light can't save us darkness will

by DEXTER JONES CIRCUS ORCHESTRA

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released January 22, 2010

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FUZZORAMARECORDS Örebro, Sweden

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Track Name: If bars could bend
If bars could bend

I´d love to have it all undone if you´d allow
I know I´ve done a lot of shit and I´m not proud

If I could live this part again
I would try to
wash away these dirty stains

I am a great shadow in your life, I bring you down
I try to make it all good, but my words drown

In the storm inside my mind
in the constant chaos
lies an answer I cant find

I´m so cold and apart from the other world
Leave now or I´ll suck you dry, yeah I have heard

A stone is pounding in my chest
I´m afraid that
there´s nothing good about me left

I´m lost on an ocean of loniless, that´s true
But I need just a little bit of love to make it through

But there is no life in the void
No one calls my name
Lord, have mercy on my soul

And love me atleast for the things that I am not
Tell me you appreciate what I haven´t got

Come on, people, lets pretend
for a short, short moment
the bars in my cage could bend
Track Name: I'm a dog but you're a hound
I´m a dog, but you´re a hound

Day by day it´s getting worse
I cant break the circle, it´s like a curse
I am under your spell
You keep trying to bring us down
You wear my defeat as a golden crown
I´m sick of living in hell
Still I need you more and more
I´m such a loser, that´s for sure
The world holds me for a clown
Yeah, I´m a dog, but you´re a hound

It all comes down to those hours
between the short moments of feeling complete
All that´s left is a taste that´s sour
a sense of a final defeat
Once whole, now incomplete

I make a new start every day
Today I´ll hold no matter what tricks you play
My strong defense will keep you out
But it´s at times when I´m relaxed
I always tend to somehow attract
those vauge signals of doubt
As I struggle and try to hold you back
Inch by inch my wall will crack
and once again you´re all arond
I may be a dog, but you´re a hound

We both know that there´s no use
of exposing the facts in this sad, sad truth
We both know what it´s about
I need you, cant you see
to dare to face the freak that is me
It is worse than it sounds
I´m a dog, yeah I´m a hound
Track Name: The silence is far to loud
The silence is far too loud

Last night I thought I heard you scream
among the vultures in my dream

There´s no way I could grasp
Your darkness` too compact
A strange voice in your head
A cold wind in your bed

Oh lord, you dont want to go to sleep
To lose control in the dark deep

It all becomes so alive
when the night arrives
Your nightly horrors reveal
how bad you feel

Well, sleep tight and say
you live in moral decay
There´s no one around
The silnece´s far too loud

So you try to force your inner pain
on to me because you need to keep it sane

Well, you would freeze in fear
if you could things clear
Dreams are knocking on your door
but you stay nailed to the floor

It´s gone too far, you´ve grown hard
and you can´t make the voices stop
You need the fear, you need to hear
the demons whispering non-stop
Yeah, there´s a force that pulls you down
I guess it´s time that you decide
if to move on and live it out
but you´re so full of doubt
Yeah, there are demons´still to crave
a lost soul to walk their way

Sometimes there´s a glimpse of what was you
way before that wreck you´ve turned into

That psychotic spark in your eye
sure makes it hard to lie
You have pushed me away
I hope you´re cured some day
Track Name: The monster by your side
The monster by your side

Yeah, if you knew the things I do
you would leave me far behind
But you stay blind, just dont want to find
the monster by your side
It´s like a game, this filth and shame
is the only thing that is real
Yeah, we pretend that we are friends
The truth will never reveal
how we feel

Yeah, how I pray that I some day
could love me for who I am
But I´m a hound, from undergorund
I had everything in my hand
I cant get it straight, you´ve lost your faith
in me and everything around
The same as before, I´m out the door
The trail goes round and round
Aint life profound

Oh my God, I´m so ashamed
of the way I act
My excuse is all the same
I just cant hold him back

So what to do with me and you
and this dark world we´ve explored
Cant seem to find that peace of mind
The way we could before
My mental state stole our faith
and denied every chance of salvation
The walls wont break, our sky is fake
The lie comes round again
like a bad revelation
Track Name: It's not safe
It´s not safe

The world always recalls
all the bad things we´ve done and what we really are;
Gods´ failure over all
just some useless trash showing off our scars

So I´m full of issues, what a big surprise
Well, so are you or else you´re telling me lies
We´re human beings and by God we try

A safe place to rest
Somewhere to hide from what´s in our chest
A treat for our minds
A short pause from a life that hasn´t treated us kind

Just a moment of peace, that´s all we ask
A chance to cath our breath before the world attacks
One last chance of sneaking out the back

Oh my God
How the demons rides us in bed
Cant you see
it just aint safe in our heads
Oh my God
We are alone in this world
to fights against ourselves
and it´s so deeply disturbed

So we´re sharing this grave
and all they tell us is to smile cuz Jesus saves
So put your trust in God
but tell me all, dont you find it odd

You get a kind of a clear-sightedness down the deep
And it´s the fact that keeps making us cry and weep
Happines is never ours to keep
Track Name: Little man
Little man

I still live the dream
So silence that scream

I´m lost and confused, though I´ve got it all
Yeah, night after night I hit the wall
I´ve been drained for long with no time for rest
The only company as an ache in my chest

This will never end
Upon this we all depend

I´ve emptied my mind for you for sure
I dont want to take part in this no more
Night after night it feels the same
but still I act like I love to play

Wash away my filth and dirt
A short moment of peace in the constant hurt
Come and save me, little man
Take me home and let me hold your hand
once more

A life of true regret
I´ve placed some filthy bets

One thousand miles away from you
It´s hard to speak of what I do
It´s hard to be a part, a responsible man
When all I´ve got is guilt at hand

An image of you is haunting me
I cant get myself to be
solid rock in your world
Yeah, I´m a pig, that´s what I´ve heard
It´s so hard to keep it real
The more I try the more I feel
I need to kill what I´ve became
A dirty fly on golden grain
Track Name: Free enterprise
Free enterprise

So this is it
A first class seat on a business trip
I´ve made it far
Free drinks and a cuban cigar
A stewards´smile
A kiss from a hungry juvenile
I live the dream
On the cover of Money Magazine

Lord, have mercy on us
I´m an ass that just dont care
I was made to win
and do what I must
It´s simply not more than fair
Because you´re all worms in the dirt
Who cares if you get hurt
There´s no need to ask or compromise
Just ride the free enterprise

And let the money flow
Let the feelings go

Shareholders of the world
unite, haven´t you heard
There are movements in the air
We all smell a good affair
The door´s unlocked in the middle east
Just buy and have a feast
Wether it´s guns or human lives
Just ride the free enterprise

We all depend
on the use of moral and common sense
So I guess you´re screwed
If someone goes to heaven
it wont be you
Track Name: Both of us
Both of us

I´m barely ever around
As crazy as it sounds
I left it all on you
to try and pull it through

You take great part in this
but I see how you miss
the action on the scene
The essens of our dreams

It´s because of you
we can make it true
I wish they all could see
what you have given me

Thankless is your part to play
I wish we could find a way
to keep this working side by side
to put our past aside

I wish you´d come along
and see what we´ve become
You´d see the reasons why
the magic mustn´t die

A chance to live it out
There never was a doubt

For me to keep on track
your dreams had to step back
I know it breaks your heart
but still you play your part

I have joined the race
and it works in the strangest ways
Yeah, it takes both of us
to do what I must
Track Name: Left to life abide
Left to life abide

I wish I´d find some peace
a way to stay at ease
But I guess I never will
There´s too many days to fill

I need my world to spin
I need adrenaline
I have a need for speed
A need for dirty deeds

This boredom drains my life
Hurts like a twisting knife
Just want out of here
But I know God cant hear

I guess it´s out of my hands
This is who I am
I could be a better man
But people, understand

I am a restless soul
I need to shine, I need to glow
and to keep up this show
I need the alcohole

So on the trail again
I cant stop wondering
I got put aside
Left to life abide

I need strength to cope
I need a glimpse of hope
But there is no one there
No one to nurse or care
Track Name: Mentally insane
Mentally insane

Once more she´s trying to fuck this up
you gotta see, you gotta hear, you gotta make her stop
She´s poison and so are you
You´re gonna crash no matter what you do
Oh lord, you´re lost
She hides you underground
And she will keep on
until your forehead hits the ground

So you´re trying to make this right
but you´ve got to know we cant take another fight
This is your private hell
Dont push us down in it as well
Bad luck, she´s mad
You know, I am pretty glad
I´m not like you
I dont have to eat the shit you do

I guess it´s hard
so hard to keep it sane
When you stay trapped
trapped into her vain

We know you´ve lost control
Her claws nailed on to your soul
You´re both quite a pair
wripping each others throats down the hole
We wish you could
just put your mind on this
Because when you do
you are everything we miss
Track Name: Sad world
Sad world

Sad,sad world, It´s so disturbed
I cant believe what I´ve heard
All is set, the darkness gets
All around us, so place your bets
The sky will fall on us all
Yeah baby, we will crawl
In the dust we´ll get crushed
By forces greater than us

We´re sliding down the hole
Somebody save our souls
Take the pain off our chest
Stop the forces of west

Bad, bad times, dark, dark signs
You´d better stay in line
Times grow hard so fill your credit card
All in the name of God
War, war, war, scream for more
We all need guns for sure
Great ill-will, keep fullfill
The dirty deeds on your bill

Stop the forces of west
We all know what´s best
and it aint war, we need more
love for sure
We gotta find a way
We need to hear you say
That you´ve found peace
and you will sieze
the fire, please